I don’t usually post alot about life without crafting.
My blog is a record of my crafting.
I am however now going to blog about smoking.
Strange for a crafting blog and l have thought long and hard about blogging here or not.
I decided l would, you don’t have to read this post, just go straight past and look for the crafting but maybe this post might just help someone, maybe.
I am going to be honest here, this is my story.
I have smoked since l was 17, l am now 41 so that is 24 years.
I can’t remember why l started smoking. It was probably cool. It may have been rebellion, l can’t remember.
I have smoked through 2 of my 3 pregnancies. All my babies were big and healthy.
With baby number 3 (now boy10), l cut down to 5 a day and the doctor told me that was fine as it was a big drop, yes he really did!
I can’t remember how many times l have tried to stop.
I know in the past few years l have tried alot.
I stopped for 10 months 3 years ago.
I used nucig electronic cigarettes and not surprisingly became hooked on those instead.
I restarted that time as the girls really, really, really wound me up and l restarted to spite them.
Of course thats stupid as it was only hurting me.
I have stopped for almost a week by the will power method and sucking boiled sweets.
I have used the nucig electronic cigarettes a few times but always started again.
I am not stupid.
I know what cigarettes do to me. I know how much they cost. I know how much Boy10 hates me smoking.
I smoke 20 a day that MrK buys for me when he gets his.
Every time l light up l hate myself.
All day l am counting to make sure there are enough to last until 6pm.
Every time l put one out, l am stopping.
That is exhausting throughout the day. Just the pure emotions l go through.
Add to that the time l actually spend smoking.
20 cigarettes x 10 minutes each is 3 hours 20 minutes of smoking a day.
3 HOURS 20 MINUTES A DAY!!!!!!!
We don’t smoke in the house so that is 3 hours 20 minutes l spend stood in the cold garage. Time when l could be doing something else. When its spent over the day in 10 minute intervals its ok, l know l haven’t a chunk of 3 hours that l could spend altogether in the garage doing nothing.
Why am l telling you this?
Find out tomorrow.