I don’t usually post alot about life without crafting.
My blog is a record of my crafting.

I am however now going to blog about smoking.
Strange for a crafting blog and l have thought long and hard about blogging here or not.
I decided l would, you don’t have to read this post, just go straight past and look for the crafting but maybe this post might just help someone, maybe.

I am going to be honest here, this is my story.

I have smoked since l was 17, l am now 41 so that is 24 years.

I can’t remember why l started smoking. It was probably cool. It may have been rebellion, l can’t remember.

I have smoked through 2 of my 3 pregnancies. All my babies were big and healthy.
With baby number 3 (now boy10), l cut down to 5 a day and the doctor told me that was fine as it was a big drop, yes he really did!

I can’t remember how many times l have tried to stop.
I know in the past few years l have tried alot.

I stopped for 10 months 3 years ago.
I used nucig electronic cigarettes and not surprisingly became hooked on those instead.
I restarted that time as the girls really, really, really wound me up and l restarted to spite them.
Of course thats stupid as it was only hurting me.

I have stopped for almost a week by the will power method and sucking boiled sweets.

I have used the nucig electronic cigarettes a few times but always started again.

I am not stupid.
I know what cigarettes do to me. I know how much they cost. I know how much Boy10 hates me smoking.
Doesn’t matter!

I smoke 20 a day that MrK buys for me when he gets his.

Every time l light up l hate myself.
All day l am counting to make sure there are enough to last until 6pm.
Every time l put one out, l am stopping.

That is exhausting throughout the day. Just the pure emotions l go through.

Add to that the time l actually spend smoking.
20 cigarettes x 10 minutes each is 3 hours 20 minutes of smoking a day.

We don’t smoke in the house so that is 3 hours 20 minutes l spend stood in the cold garage. Time when l could be doing something else. When its spent over the day in 10 minute intervals its ok, l know l haven’t a chunk of 3 hours that l could spend altogether in the garage doing nothing.

Why am l telling you this?

Find out tomorrow.


About Tracey.

I craft, any craft will do.
This entry was posted in life. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Update.

  1. LucyLadley says:

    Tracey, you are very special to all your readers. I’ll be shooting up prayers for you to get through this & start getting the time & money from this time forward to time & money that will make you feel blessed.

  2. loverj says:

    I have been smoke-free for four years; your blog could have been mine. Chantix is what finally worked for me…not an advertisement, just a truth.

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